Hey Reader,

Last week, I explored why communications professionals find it so difficult to say “no” and I suggested there are a lot of hidden costs of always saying yes to stakeholders. If you missed that edition, you can read it here.

And I promised to follow it up this week with some solutions. We know it's super hard to say no but how can we change this behaviour? It's really hard!

I've got you. Don't worry.

One thing I want to say at the outset is that if you find it really hard to say no then you're not alone. I ran a poll on LinkedIn last week on this topic and 71% of respondents said they find it hard to say no to stakeholders. I had 542 responses to the survey so that is 385 people who feel exactly the same as you!

You may also find it somewhat reassuring to know that many of the people who answered “yes” to this poll hold senior positions in their organisations. This confirms that saying no isn’t just difficult for those in junior roles, it’s a challenge that persists across all levels of seniority and experience.

Let's move beyond the issue now and look at solutions and tactics to help you.

Because this absolutely is a problem we can fix. After all, 29% of people in that LinkedIn poll said this isn't an issue for them. So there are things we can learn and practice and apply in our jobs to overcome this.

The art of the strategic no

Now into the good stuff: how do you actually say no?

I'm going to share my four-part framework that I use for this. I call this "the art of the strategic no". I've been gatekeeping this approach for years but I think it's time to share because this approach works SO WELL.

This is how you can say no whilst still maintaining positive relationships with your stakeholders.

Ready?

Here's the four step process:

1. Acknowledge and appreciate the request
2. Explain using objective criteria & strategic priorities
3. Connect to business outcomes
4. Offer alternatives where possible

Let's go into each four steps one by one. I'll explain them and give a sample script, then we can look at an example of how to use it.

Working in internal comms can be really bloody lonely. I know, I've been there.

​Finding peers who truly get your work and can help you can be difficult.

​That's why I set up The Curious Tribe.

The Curious Tribe is a membership community for internal communicators who want to transform into strategic advisors, all while connecting with other pros around the world who 'get it'. ​

If you're an internal communicator, The Curious Tribe was made for you.

Here's what tribe member Catherine Brooks says:

"What I love about The Curious Tribe is the breadth of knowledge, topics and ways it can help you - all wrapped up by the fabulous Joanna. Every session I attend it is great to share ideas, learn something new and help others to think about how they could approach something.

I would thoroughly recommend The Curious Tribe wherever you are in your career. I’ve not heard of anything else like it and I always look forward to it!"

Okay here's our four-step framework for saying no.

Step 1: Acknowledge and appreciate the request

Super simple start: thank your stakeholder for coming to you with this request and make them feel heard. It shows respect and demonstrates that you’ve heard and understood their request.

Step 2: Explain using objective criteria & strategic priorities

The trick here is to remove yourself entirely from the answer; it's not about you, it's about the business. Depersonalise your response by referencing what your team is focused on and what your strategic priorities are. This shows that your decision to say no to their request isn't arbitrary, in other words you're not refusing because you don't want to help but because you're already committed to other important work.

Step 3: Connect to business outcomes

Next you want to reference how your team’s focus and strategic priorities are aligned to business outcomes and organisational goals. This reinforces that you are a strategic professional who delivers value, not a tactical order-taker who does what anyone asks. Again you are removing yourself from the situation here - this is not about your individual choice or preference, it's about business outcomes. This step helps the stakeholder see beyond their immediate need to understand the bigger picture of why your current focus matters.

Step 4: Offer alternatives where possible

And the last part is to give the stakeholder some alternatives, if you can. Provide options that might help address their needs in a different way. This demonstrates your desire to help them and to be a team player, even when are you aren't going to help them directly. For example you could point them towards playbooks or toolkits you have to help them do the communication themselves, or give them the contact number of an agency they could hire if they need to outsource the work.

Sometimes you don't have an alternative to offer, by the way, and that's okay. You just do steps 1, 2 and 3 and leave it at that.

Putting it all together

Here’s what it looks like when you put it all together - save this and use it as a script you can rattle off with your stakeholders in any situation.

Do you see how YOU as an individual are not present in this script AT ALL? It's all about strategic priorities and business outcomes. It's pretty hard to argue against it to be honest, that's why it works.

Here's an example of it in action. Let's say someone in your Product department comes to you and asks you to create a department-specific newsletter for them. Here's what you might say in response:

Do you see how this response framework is super respectful, explains why you are saying no, ties it all back to strategic priorities and then redirects them towards alternative solutions?

This is the art of the strategic no.

Would you try this?

I'd love to know, would you try this approach?

If you're curious about it but feel nervous, the absolute best way to practice with it is to get yourself a role playing buddy. Write out some scenarios that come up in your job that you would ideally say no to, and then literally role play the scenario together and practice saying no using the framework above. Will you feel silly? Yes, absolutely. Will it help you become more comfortable using this with real stakeholders and real requests? Also yes, absolutely.

Try it. I love this approach, I've found great success with it. Maybe it'll work for you too.

Thanks for reading and stay curious,

Joanna

PS Some stakeholders are absolutely crap at taking no for an answer. They will push and push until you say yes. I have some tricks up my sleeve to handle this kind of thing, if that would be useful to you in another newsletter let me know?

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