Each week in this newsletter I take a question from a reader. This week let's dive into this question which came in from an internal communications manager in Australia:
"I'm struggling to say no to stakeholders. Everyone comes to me with requests and I end up saying yes to everything, even when I know I shouldn't. I'm drowning in work that I probably shouldn't even be doing and I don't know how to push back without damaging relationships. How do you say no without being seen as unhelpful?"
Thank you for sending this in because so many people reading this newsletter face the same challenge. It's hard isn't it, to balance the tension between focusing on work that matters whilst also keeping your stakeholders on side. You don't want to be seen as "difficult" or "not a team player" but at the same time you can't do everything for everyone, that's not what you're paid for and it's not helpful to either you or the business.
The first thing I would say is to reassure you that you're not alone in this struggle. I ran a poll on LinkedIn last year about this topic and three-quarters of respondents said they find it hard to say no to stakeholders. That poll had over 500 respondents btw and many of them hold senior positions in their organisations, so figuring out how to say no isn't just difficult for those in junior roles, it's a challenge that persists across all levels of seniority and experience.
But it's not impossible. Not at all. You just need a good approach. And I have one that's tried-and-tested and I'll share it with you today.
Let's get into it.
NEW! Monthly payment plans now available.
You want to make 2026 count. You want to grow and excel in the world of internal comms, and you know that joining The Curious Tribe is the way to make that happen.
But your employer won’t pay for your membership and it feels like a big investment to take on alone.
I hear you. And I want to help.
I’m now offering monthly payment plans for The Curious Tribe.
This is an annual membership by design, because genuine transformation into a strategic communicator doesn't happen in a month. It takes time. Getting that promotion, becoming more influential, building your reputation in the company - these things take time and effort. The Curious Tribe is designed to get you the transformation you desire over 12 months.
The membership is still annual. But now you can split the cost into 12 monthly instalments to make it easier to manage if you’re self-funding. It works out at €125 per month with a 12-month commitment.
Are you the next member of The Curious Tribe? 👀
Now on to the good stuff: how do you actually say no?
I'm going to share my four-step approach I use for this. I have used this approach for years and trust me, it works. It takes a bit of confidence and practice but try it - it's great.
It will help you say no whilst still maintaining positive relationships with your stakeholders.
Here's what it looks like:
- Acknowledge and appreciate the request
- Explain using objective criteria & strategic priorities
- Connect to business outcomes
- Offer alternatives where possible
Let's go into each of the four steps one by one.
Step 1: Acknowledge and appreciate the request
Super simple start: thank your stakeholder for coming to you with this request and make them feel heard. It shows respect and demonstrates that you've heard and understood their request.
Step 2: Explain using objective criteria & strategic priorities
The trick here is to remove yourself entirely from the answer; it's not about you, it's about the business. Depersonalise your response by referencing what your team is focused on and what your strategic priorities are. This shows that your decision to say no to their request isn't arbitrary - in other words you're not refusing because you don't WANT to help but because you're already committed to other important work that simply takes priority.
Step 3: Connect to business outcomes
Next you want to reference how your team's focus and strategic priorities are aligned to business outcomes and organisational goals. This reinforces that you are a strategic professional who delivers value, not a service desk who simply churns out tasks on request. Again you are removing yourself from the situation here, this is not about your individual choice or preference, it's about business outcomes. This step helps the stakeholder see beyond their immediate need to understand the bigger picture of why your current focus matters.
Step 4: Offer alternatives where possible
And the last part is to give the stakeholder some alternatives, if you can. Provide options that might help address their needs in a different way. This demonstrates your desire to help them and to be a team player, even when you aren't going to help them directly. For example you could point them towards playbooks or toolkits you have to help them do the communication themselves, or give them the contact number of an agency they could hire if they need to outsource the work.
Sometimes you don't have an alternative to offer, by the way, and that's okay. You just do steps 1, 2 and 3 and leave it at that.
Putting it all together - sample script
Here's what it looks like when you put it all together, you can save this and use it as a script you use with your stakeholders.
"Thank you for thinking of us for [request].
Currently, our team is focused on [strategic priorities] which directly support [business outcomes].
This request falls outside our current scope, but I can suggest [alternative solution / resource / template / idea]."
Why this approach works is because it's all about framing your work (and your time) around strategic priorities and business outcomes. It's pretty hard to argue against it to be honest, that's why it works.
Are you brave enough to give this a go? I found it slightly terrifying the first time I had a go at using this but guess what, the world didn't end and my stakeholder really didn't mind and everything was fine. The second time I tried, it wasn't as scary and it worked - again.
I love this approach, I've found great success with it. Maybe it'll work for you too.
Thanks for reading and stay curious,
Joanna
Find me on YouTube, TikTok, LinkedIn and check out my book
Want to work together?
- Join The Curious Tribe. This is my membership community for ambitious, curious communicators who want to achieve more in their roles and have fun at the same time. Membership allows you to work directly with me for 12 months, make deep connections with other communication pros who 'get it' and improve your skills through training and learning. More info here.
- Ready to review your channels and content but don't know where to start? Download my practical Internal Comms Audit Playbook to guide you through a DIY audit - no expensive consultant needed. This has ready-to-use templates and checklists to give you a systematic way to do your own audit which you can repeat every single year. Get it here.
- Take a shortcut. I've developed a collection of tried-and-tested templates, checklists and how-to guides for the key processes you'll need in your role as an internal communicator. You can download my Internal Comms Cheat Sheets here.